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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A Heart Stopping Parenting Moment

Ok so it's 4am and I can't sleep because I'm thinking about an incident that happened today.

I have my kids registered in a Scottish Dancing class at the community center. My sister has her oldest in the class as well. Parents are not allowed in the room. We have to wait outside, as it may otherwise distract the kids. Most of the time either my sister or I stay right near the room staring in at the kids. This time my brother inlaw came and he took his younger one outside to the play ground. I took Martha across the street to get weighed. (She only gained 5 ounces in two weeks- which is the least of my worries at the moment, but still not great news).

When I got back to the playground, it was two minutes till the end of class. I said, "lets go we gotta pick up the big kids". They're really not big, just 3, 3.5 and almost 5.We get to the class at 4:02 (I guess we walked slow) and the next one has already started. Mary and Joseph's class mates are in the hall with their parents, getting out of their dance shoes, and OUR kids are no where to be seen. I panic; my brother in law searches. We find the kids playing happily, like nothing was out of the ordinary, in the little tots room near the lobby.

So what would you do as a parent?

At first I just said, "good job" to the kids for going to the playroom. But now that I'm lying awake thinking about it, I should tell them not to leave the classroom if they don't see us waiting for them. I will talk to them about that tomorrow.

But really it's not their responsibility- they're preschoolers! I realize that I was late in picking up, I take responsibilty for that. BUT the teacher should not be releasing the kids out of the classroom without checking that the parent is there. Is that not true? Am I crazy to think that the teacher should just make them sit against the wall or take them to the front desk until a parent arrives? What if I had been hit by car? Where would my kids have been? And for how long until someone noticed that there was no parent there? It makes me sick just thinking about it.

And now, what do I do about it? Should I call the supervisor at the community center and tell them what happened? Do I call the instructor? Do I wait until next week and talk to the instructor? I don't even want to send the kids back to her class to be honest. But the kids really love going to it.What would you do?

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Breast Feeding the All Natural Nightmare

OK so who ever says that breastfeeding is natural is crazy or is one of the few who lucked out!

I know I'm not alone when I say that breastfeeding has been the biggest challenge yet along the road to motherhood.

First there's the latch.
You have to wait patiently, with a screaming newborn in your clumsy hands, for the exact moment that their mouth is as wide as a yawn. Then you stuff them onto your breast, by which time they have likely closed their mouth. So you try again, and again, again. Until you get it right because if you don't- then you'll pay for it later with sore nipples.

Then there's the milk.
At first you have something called colostrum. It's like super milk. There's not a lot of it, but it is full of nutrients for the baby. That's what they live on for the first few days, until your milk comes in. When your milk comes, many experience pain in engorgement. I never suffered from this because I have never had a lot milk. But I have heard that it is very painful.

Here's where I'll get personal. Not too personal don't worry, I won't be showing any pictures of my scabbed nipples or anything.

So I've never been one of abundant milk supply for my babies. My babies have always been light weights, and slow gainers. This time around though, it was really slow, sometimes none, and one week Martha even lost weight. So I was prescribed, Domperidone- NOT champagne although that would have been nice! It seemed to help with the milk supply, but it was hard to remember to take it consistently at first.

Even with the Domperidone, the mama's milk tincture, the Fenugreek, the Blessed Thistle and the pumping I have a really slow gainer. So the Midwives refer us to a pediatrician and the pediatrcian orders some blood tests to see if there is something fundamentally wrong with her make up. Needless to say it was a horrible experience watching my then 2 month old being held down by the nurses and poked while she screamed in objection. Thankfully, the tests came back clear. Or am I thankful? Perhaps if there was something wrong with her, they could fix it- then it wouldn't be my fault.

So we were told to top up with formula. Martha though, was not too interested in formula, nor was she interested in bottles with my pumped breast milk. Have you ever met a hungry baby who wouldn't take a bottle? I was perplexed. I really wanted to exclusively breast feed, but at the same time I didn't want my daughter to have week brain development because she wasn't getting the proper nutrients to grow.

We persevered with the bottles. My mother who is a very determined woman, went out and bought every different kind of bottle that exists, and tried each one on Martha until she took one. We learned that she was not interested in bottles after having just nursed, so we had to try bottles when she was hungry. Sometimes with success, sometimes without. This meant that instead of nursing her, I would pump.

Pumping... this where I learned of my sad, sad, milk. When I would pump I would have about 5 streams of milk flowing at first for the fore milk (the watery stuff that quenches thirst). This would last for about 3-4 minutes. Then all of a sudden 4 streams would disappear and there would be this one measly little stream of milk with hind milk. This would last for about 3 minutes and then that would be it. I would have a totally of about 3 ounces and that was after both breasts. "They say" that the baby can get at least an ounce more out of you then the pump, but for Martha I don't believe that was true. She would fall asleep, or cry at the breast a lot. My friends with normal milk supply can get 5 ounces of milk from one side. And doesn't look like skim milk like mine, it looks like homo milk.

As Martha got acquainted with the bottle she became less patient at the breast. And sadly, this has gradually meant that my milk supply has dwindled.

I think it was a combination of a Martha being a really week sucker (therefore not sending strong enough signals to my body to make more milk) and my low milk supply. Martha was my last kick at the can. I really really wanted to succeed this time. The first two were not very successful, but I thought by the third I should have this breastfeeding thing figured out.

On some levels, I feel like a major failure. How can a mother not provide what her baby needs? What would have happened to her if I didn't have access to formula or pumps etc.? Why Lord, doesn't my body work properly? I try not to beat myself up about it. But when I'm out in public with a screaming baby trying to get the formula at just the right temperature it sure is hard not to be bitter about the whole thing.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Security Blankets

Do you have a security blanket?


There are several things in the world that I think give us security.

One perhaps might be our spouses. I definitely feel secure in my marriage, and I am thankful for that. I was smart enough to wrangle in an amazing man. I know that he would never leave me and the kids. Not because of who I am, but because of who he is. We are in the this relationship for the long haul. If and when issues may arise- we are on a "work it out" agenda for sure.


Perhaps our job, or our favorite tv show, maybe a nice bowl of homemade mac 'n cheese.

Another may be our homes. I don't know about you, but I was raised living in the same house for 20 years. That's a long time. I felt very secure there. When we moved, I moved with my parents so even though I lost the security of the house and neighbourhood I knew so well, I still had the comfort of my parents with me. I lived at home until I got married at age 23.
But getting married and moving out on my own was so exciting that it still felt secure in the first basement suite Jack and I lived in. We only lived there a short while, until we moved into my grandparents old apartment, which was also safe. After that we moved to where we are now. My parents basement suite. Security galore!

But now, as both Jack and I are finished with our University Degree's and moving on to the real world, the working world, we are opening the door to another move. We have said that we will move to what ever city or town Jack can get a permanent job. We aren't into commuting any more than like 10 minutes!
This makes me slightly excited for change. I look forward to living in a space that is above ground, where you look out the window and see people's faces instead of legs, where you see tree tops instead of trunks. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE this suite. We have been MORE THAN BLESSED to be able to live here, so comfortably for so long.
But change is in the air. The future mostly uncertain. I am thankful to have a faith in God.It is nice to know that He is certain of where we will be, and I find comfort in that. Yet at the same time, as we look for jobs in many different cities, I feel as though a safety blanket is slowly being inched away from me and the draft is waking me up...

Keats Reunion



So last night I had the pleasure of revisiting my youth and young adult days at the Keats Camps Reunion / Fundraiser. My friend Kim and I were going to do one of her old classic skits. I say "her" because she is the star character, the others in the skit could easily be replaced, but there is only one Bag Lady- and that is Kim! Anyways, I say "were" because upon arrival with my 2 month old, I realized that it really wasn't all that easy any more, to jump up in front of a large crowd (this time of adults) and look silly- at least not for me. I'd rather look silly in front of kids and I'd rather not have to be worrying about whether Martha was going to let everyone know she existed with amazingly LOUD vocal chords! So Lauren stepped up to the plate and she and Kim took us back to the good old days. We laughed as Kim used glue for lipstick and a toilet brush for mascra brush etc. to make her self look as beautiful as the girl next to her.

So we mixed, we mingled, we tasted lovely food provided by the Banqueting Table . We caught up with people whom we shared life changing experiences with. Some people had more to love, some had less, some had children in tote, some had left theirs at home. All had a smile on their face; because we all love Keats Camp and the encounters we had on the beautiful island that God created for His glory!

To kick off the night we watched a slide show of staff and campers past. For some strange morbid reason, as I was watching the slide show, and thought to myself, "Thankfully no one in these photos (at least that I am aware of) had passed away." Except of course for Salty Ken. He was a dear old man who used to take a cabin of campers (along with the Skipper) for a night of camping in the woods. Anyways, I just had a moment of gratefulness, that these lives were still living and hopefully sharing the Good News that we learned about and celebrated so easily at camp.

Then came the real energy! Russ, Sandy, Mike and Kim (along with other very important musical people such as Matt, Gregg, and Kenton) took the stage to sing some oldies. We sang all original "Keats / Rise up" songs such as: You pick me up, Jesus is the man, Wind of the spirit, Healing Hands. There were others, but I am getting old and can't remember. We prayed and worshipped together Old School style. It felt amazing. We all had this special bond, we have all been touched by God, and the His people in very special ways on the island of Keats. And if felt so great to celebrate that.

Sadly, there was a desperate undertone of need to the evening. Keats needs us now. There have been a few rough years in the recent past; Norwalk, the fallen bell tower, and moldy cabins to name a few things. I hope that last night people were inspired to give: time, money, energy and prayers. As Darrin mentioned, we want Keats to carry on, so that we can send our kids there!



Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Mary has to go

So Mary age 20 months was hiding in her room alone, a tell tale sign that she needs to go. I asked her if she needed to go poo, and she said "yes." It's pretty natural for them to find a little spot to hide and do their business. I asked her if she wanted to use the potty and she said- "no". So I said ok- come out when you want me to change your diaper. She came out a few minutes later, and I went to changer her diaper and there was no poo. So I said, lets sit on the potty. This time she agreed. She sat quite willingly, and proudly on the potty. I turned away and carried on with getting lunch ready and told her to call me when she was done. She came up to me and said, "Big Log Mummy!" So I said, "good girl" and followed her back to her potty. There was a big log alright, but it was in the middle of the living room floor not in the potty!

Note to self... don't take your eyes off of a naked- not yet 2 year old who needs to go poo. Good times !

The Muddy Jacket...

So this afternoon, we had nice family stroll along the beach- in the freezing cold weather. We drove down to Brock House, parked and then walked along the path, visited the ducks, said hello to all the dogs (I hate animals), and all the people ( I hate people- well not really I just thought that would be funny if I did). Joseph actually saw a lively young couple walking along, and ran ahead to walk beside them for like 10 feet- talking away to them. They were looking for where his parents were of course... So we reclaimed the kids and were walking hand in hand for a while. Anyways, 30 minutes into the walk and we're all freezing because Mary walks too slow and doesn't want to be carried. We're loading the kids in the car, and I see mud ALL over the front of Joseph's jacket. I said, "Joe- why is there mud all over your jacket?" "What were you doing?" "What were you thinking?"He replied, "I was trying to get it off my hands." At which point I started to notice a foul smell. I put my nose a little closer to his jacket- and sure enough it was poo. Thankfully, when you have kids, you generally have some sort of sterilizing / cleaning device with you at all times, so the box of wipes came in handy! Thankfully the jacket was wipeable not cloth. Disclaimer- hate is a strong word. For all you animal lovers, I don't actually HATE them. I just prefer not to hang out with them, if I have the choice. But I have lots of circumstances to explain my feelings, such as being bit by a dog, and a parrot, flown into by an owl etc.... not to mention the allergies.

10 Things People Don't Tell You About Pregnancy and Childbirth


As I reflect on what will likely be my last pregnancy- I thought I'd pass on some of the things I've learned along the way... these are definitely not the glorious things - I figure that those are nice to learn and experience on your own. These are some that, I suppose I wish someone had mentioned to me. Enjoy.

10) As soon as you find out you are pregnant (ie. about 2 weeks after you ovulate)- you are already 4 weeks pregnant.

9)"Morning Sickness" can strike at any time of day, and last throughout pregnancy, not just the first trimester.

8) You have to pee all the time, even when the baby isn't big enough to be constricting your bladder.

7) Hemorrhoids- you thought that was just for old people who get constipated. Well, constipation comes with pregnancy, and thereby often hemorrhoids do too. usually near the end, or almost certainly after giving birth.

6) There's often more "fluid" down there- then when you aren't pregnant. So as much as you are looking forward to not having your period for 9 months, you still may want to be wearing a pantie liner every day.

5) As your belly protrudes, it becomes more and more challenging to do simple task such as shave your legs, put your pants on or take them off, cut your toe nails, or tie up your shoe laces.

4) All the water you retain, while your hands and feet and ankles start swelling near the end- is released after giving birth, during the night in major sweats that soak your sheets.

3) Breastfeeding is not an easy task for most. Both mom and baby need to learn, and figure it out.

2) You bleed for up to 3 weeks after giving birth, and can pass blood clots that are the size of golf balls.

1) HEARTBURN- another thing you think just happens perhaps to old men who eat too much pizza, well again, it is introduced in pregnancy (for many).